Lentils + Wenuses

You know those words that just evoke shudders and inadvertent gag reflex exercises? “Penetrate,” “thrust,” and “wenus” are such words for me. A wenus, for those not in the know, is the technical term for the flap of skin covering the funny bone. My wenus can get ashy, so I always cover it in lotion.

“Lentils,” in thought, have always done similar things to me. Until I actually had them. And then I kept having them, and now I can’t stop eating them. Lentils went from the “wenus” category to the “Amy Grant,” “Real Housewives of Wherever County” and “Kardashian” category after consumption. That is, to the best place of all.

The Gastrique Guy and I are currently on a no-sugar, no-grain regimen that my workplace has adopted for 40 days, so we’ve been experimenting with ways to  get in some lean protein and fiber without the help of quinoa, farro or other grainy friends. Lentils fit that bill. Four of my favorite ways I’ve flexed these little beanesque pods of goodness’ muscles include…

Eat Live Run’s Thai Red Curry served atop a pillowy cloud of brown lentils
Note: I learned the hellacious way that when doubling recipes, Thai peppers do not necessarily need to be doubled as well. I like things spicy, but after demolishing the back of my throat with 5th degree burns, I added an entire extra can of coconut milk and some steamed broccoli to cut the heat.

Moroccan Lentil Salad
Note: Slightly undercook ye ole lentils. The texture can be a bit mushy – like in a good way that mushy tends to be, not like the back of thighs constantly try to be – so cooking them “al dente” preserves some of the texture.

Eat Live Run’s Mediterranean Lentil Salad
Note: No notes, actually, I just like keeping parallel structure. Also, as you will discover, Eat Live Run is sort of my food lifeblood, unlike my darling husband who can just look at food and make it something delicious.
Other Note: When I made this I spilled sundried tomato oil everywhere. That shiz is no joke to clean up. So I ignored it while I finished cooking, let the dogs do what they could with it, then sort of cleaned it and left for the party I was taking it to.

Eat Live Run’s Lentil Dahl
Note: Do not serve this alongside grilled lamb with a Tuscan sauce. Curry goes great with mouthwash, red wine, and naan. Not so well with Italian lamb. It was like an Indi-talian meal. Which is exactly why that food fusion hasn’t caught on across the world. Yet.

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