DTH-GG has a morning routine that begins much earlier than my beauty sleep cycle ends. As a devoted wife, I like to prepare him for his day in the best way possible (well, maybe the second or third best way possible… if you know what I mean… heh heh), which includes, naturally, food and caffeine. Each night before retiring to my chambers, I prep the Keurig and lay out the following: banana and orange and Nalgene bottle full of kale smoothie. To make myself extra endearing sometimes I like to leave little notes on his produce. On a banana, “You’re so a-PEEL-ing” or one his orange, “Orange You Glad We’re Married?” He never responds in kind, though, I have no doubt the sentiments are shared. I haven’t figured out how to tag his smoothie yet, but considering that he always raves about it (and when I say “rave,” I mean, he notes that he enjoys them… he’s an even-keeled guy… you take what you get and then embellish it for social media), I thought it best to record the process (I truly cannot call this a recipe, and since kale smoothies are nearly as ubiquitous as kale chips, a process it shall be) for posterity. Naturally, this can be mixed and matched with whatever fruit (that hasn’t been inked with spousal gradoo (as my mother calls crap)) you wish, but here’s our current favorite. Mangberry… you know mango + berry = mangberry. If freakin’ Brangelina can work that, man, I can to. Now read below and make it.
1 Banana (because you’re the best in the bunch… see how easy fruit -writing is. If only I could find someone hiring)
1/4 Fresh Mango
1 Incredibly Generous Handful frozen peaches or blueberries
1 Equally Generous Handful frozen kale (Trader Joe’s makes the best bagged chopped kale… toss that puppy right in the freezer to ward off the bitterness of the fresh greens)
1 1/2 cups Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk (get outcha coupons for this. Silk and Almond Breeze are fabulous with doling at the ‘pons)
1 T Chia Seeds (these fill your tum-tum roundly, nicely, healthily and become great friends with your friendly neighborhood colon)
1 scoop Greek yogurt (I’m a fan of the ‘nilla, but you do you, man)
1 scoop Nut Butter o’ Choice (yep… choose your nut butter. And choose it wisely, those these smoothies don’t discriminate)
1 splash (because how delightful is a splash?) Simply Orange-Mango juice… this is a new addition and a lovely one at that
Toss it all in a blender. I tend to layer it like so – banana first, then berries, then mango, then kale, then chia seeds, then yogurt-o, then nut butter (tehehe), then milk and juice. Blend until you feel like you can call it a beverage and getcha drink on.